I have a handful of Very Cool Women I work with as clients, and many of them (separately!) participate in a yearly tradition of choosing one word as a kind of New Year’s “intention” rather than making a “resolution.”
As I understand it1 at the turn of a new year — or maybe at the turn of any new leaf — you intentionally choose a word to guide you through the coming time. You imbue this word with the meaning it holds for you personally. This word helps you motivate out of slumps, make decisions, and feel comforted through change.
The one word is a reminder that we have free will to choose how we approach our life.
I am generally allergic to new year resolutions due to the fact that they are often fraught with toxic diet/fitness culture, unrealistic beauty standards, and overwork in the name of productivity. I don’t want that. Add in my many years doing Lent growing up Catholic…I am simply resolution-ed out! So I had some resistance to this exercise.
But after a few years of witnessing the ritual from a safe distance, I decided 2025 could be the year. Only if a word came to me naturally. I didn’t want to force something that held generic meaning in my life. The connotation was important. For example, one person’s “release” could be about grief while another’s “release” is about perfectionism. It holds individual importance.
The aforementioned Very Cool Women choose words each year like clarity, audacity, freedom, and play. I know, really good stuff.
What did I need? How could I even figure that out? I tried to think about it a bit during December…but that month got filled up with life. After getting married in Virginia, my now-husband and I went back to Los Angeles — where we had been living for the prior three years — to prepare for a move on December 31. We took a break from packing to travel to Portland days before Christmas to witness my sister’s elopement, then spent Christmas in LA. Finally the POD was hauled away, our cars were parked2 for shipping, and our apartment keys turned in.
You think during all that I was like: Oh goodie more tchotchkes to pack, let me mindfully think about my word of the year 2025? I was coming up empty.
It was suddenly January. We headed to the airport.
My husband and I flew home to Virginia and it snowed. The city we moved to had a water crisis, and the city we left burned. I celebrated my mom’s 60th birthday. I applied for full time employment.
It started to sink in: this wasn’t just a marriage new chapter, or just a relocation new chapter. I didn’t just leave behind a city, but a dream of who I would be there. I left a crumbling industry, in search of a salary and healthcare. My partnership, my home, my family, my friends, my career, my future, were all evolving simultaneously.
Now I must be clear: I do not fear change.
Living as a gig/contract worker for most of my adult life, I am relatively accustomed to variety and uncertainty. Change is not bad — but it is effortful. It can be difficult. The difficulty and effort of change can wear me out. And nearly every aspect of my life was changing, transitioning at the same time.
I needed courage. Courage to trust the process. Courage to make micro-adjustments as I needed to. Courage to find the joy amidst the chaos.
By the second week of February, it had found me. My word of the year 2025 was courageous.
Centering courage was like being charged with the master key. As new locked doors appeared, I simply needed to reach into my pocket and fish it out.
As soon as “courageous” came to me, the first door materialized: I was invited to perform in a live comedy night. The lock: I had never written or performed live comedy before. I felt terrified and exhilarated by the opportunity. The challenge of doing something for the first time felt thrilling. Five minutes of original material. The possibility of failure felt petrifying. Three hundred seconds onstage, hoping people will laugh.
I did not know what I would write about, nor if I would be funny. But I knew that the invitation itself was an assertion that I was capable. Someone saw me as a performer in the comedy night, so I needed to figure out how to see myself that way too.
I reached for the key: turning it over and over in my pocket, contemplating the outcomes of courage. Working in a new medium would make me a better artist. Connecting with a local audience would introduce me to a community. Writing new work and performing it onstage would allow me to become more myself. All these things would be true, even if I bombed.
I said yes.
Over the next three weeks I wrote a piece, scrapped it, started over, workshopped, refined, and rehearsed. On the night of the performance I was ready. I had a tight five minutes of comedy. I had not performed live since before Covid, and I was quite nervous. My heart was pounding. My palms were sweating. When I stepped onstage, my hands were shaking.3 I even went up on a line and had to buy myself a couple seconds to get back on track. But I courageously performed 5 minutes of new, original comedy for a live audience who laughed. It felt significant, rewarding.
Then more doors. A local organization put out a call for zine submissions, I answered with a poem. A writer I admire announced dates for her writing class, I enrolled. I started writing a novel! I acted in a short play!! I made many new friends!!!
I chose to be courageous enough to take myself seriously, over and over again. For six months now.
There are still things beyond courage. My husband and I are still seeking at least one full-time job between us. We are still paying for our own healthcare. Most of our material items are still in storage as we figure out our permanent residence.
But when those things go into transition (any day now!) and challenges pop up (as they do) I know I’ll be able to holdfast to the courage to face them.
Tunes for Fools
If you believe every death is a rebirth, or that when one door closes another opens…I hope you will consider giving a listen to “Loser” by
. A hopeful anthem for courageous, steadfast perseverance.Every beginning begins at the finish line
On the darkest night
I’m terrified but still I fight
‘Cause in the end the loser wins
This song is from Rogers’ debut(!) album, In The Key of Love. The album has themes of growing up, queerness/identity, and the conflict between faith and religion. I’ve had it on repeat since I first listened in May. It’s been healing. It’s been fueling.
It’s given me courage ⚘
Efficiency bloggers, bullet journal-ers, and mindful yogis alike are doing the prompt. One of my client’s word work originates from prompts by Ali Edwards.
A whole other story. The gist is: we have great friends.
My family and friends have assured me that the audience couldn’t tell.
What a great word! I love that you gave it time to form and didn't rush it when you entered the new year. My word for 2024 was Explore. This year is Play. Thanks for bringing it back to the forefront for me :)
Courage is huge. Looking back at my early years acting, my biggest regret is that I didn't have more courage on stage, as an actor. Now, at 61, I am foolishly free, which means courage feels more like flying than falling.